I'm counting this as another win for me. I'm awesome.
People’s
Sexiest Man Alive 2014
By:
Nicolette Karter
So, this year it
snuck up on me. I wasn’t sure who exactly it would be this year, though I was
in the middle of writing the article. I had a short list, and my front-runner
this time was Neil Patrick Harris. In fact, Chris Hemsworth wasn’t
on my list (which was only going to be three this time around, unlike last year’s
top 6). Not that I’m not happy for him; I just wasn’t thinking this year would
be him as much as in 2012. Though in all honesty he was my runner-up back then
to the eventual winner Channing Tatum. Which reminds me: I AM A GENIUS.
Back in 2012, I had said it would be Channing Tatum, and it was that year. Next
year, the winner was Adam Levine, who I also guessed back then as more
of an underdog. Now the SMA is the “awesome Aussie” as I put it then, and now
is a caption for the cover. So-not to draw focus from Mr. Hemsworth-I would
like to say that I must be either a.) a genius, b.) psychic and/or c.) the
makers of People read this blog and love my opinions. Who wouldn’t though?
(Please don’t answer that.) (Or do, I won’t boss you around.)
The bottom line
is good for you, Chris. Keep on…keeping on? Not really sure how to end this. I did pull focus with my little
(semi-earned) victory lap. As an apology, please accept the picture of him
below. It’s courtesy of Google, but with the convenience of being right here.
Also, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in so long. I promise to post more. I’ll be
posting one on Mockingjay soon;
I’m planning on seeing it sometime next week. So, hope you liked my almost-good
article, & feel free to tell me what you think I should post about next.
Pretty soon, I am going to post an article I’m writing on
feminism, but for now, here are some really cool videos and articles about it
too, specifically in light of the nude photo stealing that’s been going on. I know it's a long list, so if you only watch one or two, make it the first and last ones.
(the original video has this literal quote “crazy is
measured 4-10, because of course there’s no such thing as a woman who’s not at
least a 4 crazy.” Seriously.)
When the One Direction song “What Makes You Beautiful” came
out, I disliked it, both on musical merit, and because I hated the message it
sent to its young female target audience. No one at the time got this when I
said it (“what so all girls should be narcissists?”), but here it’s put much
more eloquently;
Because when people oversexualize and diminish a woman to
her body, sometimes you just need to be Amanda Palmer- “Blah blah blah,
feminist. Blah blah blah, gendership. Blah blah blah- OH MY GOD, NIPPLE!” (the Daily Mail reviewed a big show of hers,
except they only talked about how her boob popped out instead of, I don’t know,
her performance or ideologies or status as a human being. Her reaction is both
fantastic and entirely NSFW.); http://vimeo.com/70290264
Tedx Talk on the nonchalance of sexism. I know the Tedx Talks
are kind of long, but it’s a good one (and her accent is great), so please
watch. If you can’t, here are my favorite parts- “A single mother was sick of
coldcallers asking for the man of the house, so she started putting on her
6-year-old son. Apparently he sings them I’m Sexy And I Know It… We heard from
a woman who, now whenever someone screams ‘nice tits!’ at her on the street,
she looks down at them and screams like she’s never seen them before.”;
I know a lot of
people don’t like Seth MacFarlane, but I think he is just so cool. And so is
this movie. The people sitting behind us were so obviously stoned, it would
have been annoying, but they were relatively quiet (enough) and it was pretty
funny listening to them. At times; other times I wanted to smack them upside
the head. But anyway, the movie was really funny. Sometimes it was stupid or
raunchy or exactly what some people would expect from a Seth MacFarlane
project. And as a leading actor, Seth did a really good job. Usually he’s just
a behind the scenes or voice-over guy, but he’s a talented leading man. And
more physical than one would expect from a guy who sits around writing jokes
for a living.
And the other
actors were so funny! Plus there were so
many cameos. Some famous stars didn’t have any lines, or were uncredited; a few
I didn’t even know were there until I saw their names in the end credits. Like
Ewan McGregor, I still wouldn’t know he was in it but I saw his name. In any
case, MacFarlane plays a cowardly sheepherder (probably a “oh he’s so sheepish!
Hahaha, I’m so clever” joke being made about that somewhere; sorry to bring
your attention to such a terrible joke) who loses his fiancé, played by Amanda
Seyfried, because he’s not man enough for her. So she run off & dates Neil
Patrick Harris’ Foy, who is as perfect as NPH is. Also perfect? Foy’s mustache.
This is when Anna
(Charlize Theron) pops into town. She’s the wife of Liam Neeson-who plays
Clinch, the best gunslinger around-and is hiding out in the town Albert (the
main character) lives in. As a pretty girl, it is fairly easy to convince Albert
to stay & learn from her the basic knowledge of guns. Like aiming, and not
running away like a sissy. The chemistry that Seth and Charlize have plays out
really well on camera, and helps the romantic element between the two seem more
real and effortless. And she is so funny! I haven’t seen her do a lot of
comedy, but I think she should do more because she did an awesome job with
this.
It helps that I
like the script, and thought that it was a humorous movie. There were some
jokes not exactly made in good taste, but the actors managed to pull it off
wonderfully. Like, there is a scene with a hat, and oh my word you guys…I just
want to bust a gut thinking about it. It is so gross, but in the funniest way; Neil
Patrick Harris played it so well, I can’t imagine too many (if any) other
actors doing that scene & having it come out as well. For those of you who
have already seen it, I’m sure you’re laughing or at least smiling like I am. Here’s
hoping you’re not in public, making an ass out of yourself & getting weird looks
from a rather stuffy looking guy across the aisle. Whatever, he probably thinks
I’m full of myself, thinking I’m thinking “Ho-ho, aren’t I just so funny”. Which
I am, just not in a conceited way.
To nutshell, the
movie is funny and I recommend seeing it. Especially if you’re having a hard
day/week, because sometimes (stupid) humor is best for people. Also, I feel bad
for Seth MacFarlane, because he did a good job with this, and like no critics
are saying he did. He’s Hollywood’s punching bag, even though he doesn’t always
deserve to be. That said he’s filthy rich & got to kiss Charlize Theron, so
never mind; he’s doing pretty well for himself.
What do you guys
want me to review next? And I’m having a hard time deciding who to do an actor
profile on. I had thought about Tom Hiddleston or Gerard Butler maybe? They were
some of the finalists; especially because I did a female last time (Dame Angelina
Jolie), so I was thinking a man this time around. So tell me who or what you’d
like me to write about next, and what you thought of the movie.
Well, we’re in the last few episodes of The Voice. I have rated the Top 5 in order, and accompanied the two songs I would have them sing. The top 2 have videos attached. I also went on a rant about Community being cancelled at the end, but it’s worth reading, so buckle up.
5. Jake:
I’ll be honest guys. I don’t like country music. I just don’t. Every time there’s a country artist on the voice, they start performing and I’m like, “Oh, hey, they’re singing Every County Song Ever by AmericaJesusBanjo McBoozy. I mean there’s a couple songs or artists I like, but as a whole, it’s just one blur of slurred words and “yall’s”.I’ve lived in a small country town, so for me all things country are like the Blake Shelton song “Boys ‘Round Here”, except with the opposite tone of voice. So it’s hard for me to get on board with any country singer. But I still respect it well enough, so I’m not trying to be mean here when I say that Jake creeps me out. This is highly hypocritical and superficial. It has nothing to do with his voice (which I don’t exactly hate, but certainly don’t like either) or even how he looks. Well, sort of how he looks. Just his eyes. He’s got those beady, emotionless eyes, and it throws me off. He has serial killer eyes. It’s not his fault. He’s probably nice in person. But I can’t help thinking about it when he’s on.
So, to be honest, I don’t know what I want him to sing, because I don’t really want him to sing at all.
4. Josh:
Both of my ideas for Josh came really fast for me. The first one especially, as I stole it from Nicci. All of Me by John Legend. At first I was afraid because it’s so new and popular right now that people are either sick of it, or love it too much to hear it from anyone else. But it really would fit his voice well, and they could make a pandering reference to his wife and kids. The Voice’s audience loves dads.
The second song would be Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You. Name one person who hates that song. People love it, it’s jazzy enough to get the audience there in-person clapping along (don’t pretend like hearing the live audience’s reaction doesn’t subconsciously sway the opinion of those at home). It’s fun, it has emotion, and it makes people think of Heath Ledger. There is no downside. Man, I’m good at this.
3. Kristin:
For those of you paying attention/skimming with a mild interest, you noticed how I said earlier that I don’t like country music. I’m not exactly happy that 40% of the remaining artists are country singers. I’m also not happy that most of the people reading this had to stop for a moment and do the math on that, but I’m not here to harp on school systems (because I’m on a blog in 2014, and that would actually be productive). However, I actually like Kristin. I can’t say I’d buy her album, but I do enjoy her performances when she’s on. Plus, she has an awesome smile, and I’m not too proud to admit looks matter. (What? If they really wanted it to only be about the voice, the chairs would never turn around and the audiences couldn’t ever see them. And they wouldn’t wheel out their depressing background stories before we hear them sing. And they’d stop asking those stupid questions. “What would moving forward mean to you?”. Really? That’s the best you’ve got Carson? Has anyone ever said anything different? Who’s going to be like, “Meh”).
But I digress. As someone who doesn’t really like pop music, I think it would be good for her to do something a bit more well-known and successful: Lady Antebellum. I was torn between Need You Now and Wanted You More (two of the only country songs I actually know off the top of my head), but I think Need You Now has more big notes to hit. Plus, it destroyed on iTunes, and even I’d be tempted to buy it.
Thinking of her second song gave me some more trouble. I assume (and think it would be wise to) go with a more inherently country song. Something so slurred that all you hear is “Freedom” and “God Above”, but I’ve already said that I know nothing of that stuff. My best recommendation would be to go a bit more pop-y. Like the more recent stuff from Taylor Swift. Maybe some Carrie Underwood (Blown Away is the only country song I listen to voluntarily and frequently). However, after careful consideration (e.g.: 22 seconds of half-focused thought), I have decided that she should do something more unexpected. People love something they don’t see coming. That’s why spoilers are essentially punishable by death nowadays. So, with that in mind, I think she should perform a country version of Ellie Goulding’s Anything Could Happen. Imagine banjos and cowbells on the chorus. (Now, stop imagining, because it’s time to get back to real music).
2. Kat:
Kat was the easiest for me. Her voice fits so well into so many contexts, it’s crazy. At first I was thinking some Queen, or maybe some Fleetwood Mac (the juxtaposition of We Will Rock You and Songbird would be fantastic. The Voice’s audience responds very well to emotional tear-jerkers and clap-along-able crowd-pleasers.), but I decided on something a bit more obscure, more unpredictable (“less predictable” is probably more eloquent in this context, but I do not care).
Next To Me, while not in her wheelhouse, would actually complement her voice perfectly. It shows off a softer, more emotional side while still giving her opportunities to belt out big notes and throw in a little of that gruff we all love. It simultaneously hits on both the emotion and the crow-pleasing that I mentioned earlier.
As great as I think that would be, it’s not quite as rock-n-roll as we’d like to get from Kat. Evening it out is Love Interruption. This allows for her throaty gruff to show off a bit more, and the badass lyrics bring her power front and center.
1.Christina:
Christina is my favorite, and has been since the beginning. Actually, she’s been my favorite since September. She had released an EP back then, and I stumbled upon it and loved it. Seeing her be the first audition on the Voice was amazing, and gave me hipster-esque bragging rights until she inevitably wins this season.
(It’s called With Love, go check it out). (Also, go check out Ivy Levan. She has nothing to do with the Voice, she’s just a BAMF).
Deciding what I want her to sing was hard because I want her to sing everything, ever. But, I decided thatsomething between pop and sad would be good for her. I can’t decide between Jar of Hearts, Someone Like You, or Somewhere Only We Know, but I’m leaning towards Jar of Hearts.
They’ll probably want to go with another rap-to-pop songs again, but I think it would be dumb. Yes, she’s awesome at it, and they’ve yet to get to the good stuff (Salt N Peppa, Sir Mix-a-Lot, etc), but it’s getting old. If they really want to do that again, they should wait until next week. If you listen to her EP (and you should), you’ll notice a lot of jazzy influences. Think Etta James, Nina Simone, even a little Frank Sinatra. (Wow. Bet you didn’t think you’d see Sir Mix-a-Lot and Frank Sinatra in the same paragraph today, huh?) So, if that’s the kind of music she likes to make, she should throw a little bit of that in there. She could easily pull off something older, like All I Could Do Was Cry, (not At Last, it’s too clichéd), The Girl From Ipanema (although I can’t say young audiences would respond well to it), That’s It, I Quit, I’m Movin’ On, or Feeling Good. However, I think it would be better to go with something newer, just with those influences. I’m torn between Rumor Has It and Back To Black, but you simply can’t beat Amy Winehouse.
I also wanted to take a moment to say that I actually like Adam Levine's new hair. I'm not trying to set up a joke here, I just like it.
In conclusion, enjoy being let down by the songs they actually pick, and please hire me, NBC.
Acctually, don’t hire me. I’m mad at you, NBC. In fact, I would like us all to take a moment of silence for a lost loved one, Community, who was cancelled a few days ago, because life is terrible and only the good die young. We love you. We miss you. Pop-pop.
(Warning: I don’t know why but when I read this back, I noticed that I use a lot of big words here, and I’m not sure. Maybe because Community deserves them, or maybe because I’m a pretentious douche. It’s up for interpretation.)
Although, not to diminish the depression of this loss, I was thinking back on this last season lately. As I watched it the first time, I enjoyed it, but more because it’s Community and inherently magnificent. But I felt like it lacked some of the poignancy of seasons past. But when re-watched under the veil of hindsight, it was a masterpiece of tiny in-jokes you only barely noticed at the time. I mean, the entire premise of the season revolved around the “Save Greendale Committee” (or, you know, the entire fanbase of the show for the last half-decade). They kept going back to earlier story lines- the animated episode, the not-exactly paintball episode, Dungeons and Dragons, etc- but not in the lazy-writing way that too many other shows do. Community does everything on purpose, and revisiting old stories is either melancholy remembrance, or an epic middle finger to the whoever canceled them (let’s be honest, they knew it was probably coming). And then they were being taken over by Subway. A nod to an earlier episode, yes, but also a brilliant metaphor for how they felt taken over, beaten. That works for both the show as a whole and for Dan Harmon as a person (who was fired before season 4, because apparently there was a gas leak year for NBC executives as well (don’t tell me refereeing to the previous season as the “gas leak year” was anything but another excellently-placed middle finger)).
But then Subway didn’t take them over. It was close, but then a creepy, hygiene-deprived, technophile-hermit from the ‘70’s was dug up from the basement and had the bare minimum of the legal rights necessary to save Greendale, and Dean Pelton responded to lack of funds and abysmal odds of success or general happiness as just an average day here. Metaphors don’t come any thinner than that.
I’d like to think that the ending was a promise to fans that they’d keep trying. Maybe they’ll get picked up by another network. Maybe Netflix will jump in. Maybe a fan-funded Kickstarter campaign can get them a webseries. Maybe they’ll go on HBO and take a dark, porny turn. All I know is I watched Arrested Development in a week last summer, so anything can happen.
A lot of people are saying that Season 5 started strong, but fizzled out. I’m not sure if I agree with this or not, but I’d like to, and here’s why. A few weeks ago (pre-cancellation, mind you, because it’s just so great) I started re-watching Community from the beginning, because I write mediocrely funny articles about TV on the internet, what else am I supposed to do? As I watched, it clicked in my head for the first time that this entire show takes place in Abed’s mind. At first I had just thought, “Oh hey, how cool that there’s finally a fictional character who loves pop culture as much as I do. It’s about time, that’s really great”. Abed frequently makes jokes about life being a show, but I just sort of shrugged it off as his own mental issues/lovable characteristics. But then I thought about the show as a whole, and realized that we aren’t watching a show about a community college. We’re watching a show that takes place inside the mind of a mentally disturbed, but ultimately harmless and mesmerizingly creative person who happens to be at a community college. I’m not going to list all the examples here, there are too many, and no one can ever have seen Community too many times. My point is that this season was specifically designed to be slightly different after Troy left, because we live in Abed’s mind. They made a point of telling us that Troy’s persona was orbiting around another person, but so was Abed’s. What would Inspector Spacetime be without Reggie? An idiot in a robe, that’s what! And the writers wanted us to feel that come through in subtle, but not small, ways.
Or maybe I’m just a sad fan on the internet reading way too much into things. But the great thing is that I don’t have to be right. Community was made for the crazy television fans who dissect pop culture and they fully welcome fan theories. With Dan Harmon, you never have to worry about imagining a rabbit hole that isn’t there. It’s there. He’s thought of it already. Oh, Harmon, you mad genius you.
But beyond all the over-thinking I like to do at 2 in the morning, one of my favorite things about the last episode was right on the surface. I loved that they showed us one last glimpse at the whole Annie-Jeff will-they-won’t-they thing. Let’s be honest, no one (fan or writer) was rooting for Jeff and Britta. We’d all stopped caring about them as a couple by the end of the pilot. And so having them say (threaten?) that they’re getting married was a brilliant move, and was explained fully by Abed in the episode (an explanation followed immediately by the resolution of the slight Annie-Abed romance that had always been just peeking out (the timing of which was no accident, to be sure)). My point is that the only thing that saved the characters from certain death was the surge of emotion Jeff felt when he thought about Annie. It was the perfect way to wrap that up. Other shows would have ended a season(show?) with them getting together, or at least an actual conversation between the two. But this is not other shows. The wordless love they just played on for a moment before dropping again was perfect. And the context it was in was perfect. A character putting on a helmet and feeling things to save all their lives (which he could only do without any of them looking at him, a recurring feature for Jeff) is ridiculous. It’s stupid, really. It’s unrealistic and nonsensical, and all of that fits in perfectly at Greendale. For any other show, it’s a plot crutch. For this show, it flawlessly encapsulates its’ own essence. All these characters are flawed misfits who are terrible at communicating with each other (name one other show that kept up a romance between two characters without ever actually acting on it for five years). It makes sense that what saves them is a magical, literally golden machine that channels your raw emotions into some kind of tangible results. How’s that for a will-they-won’t-they ending, all other shows ever?
To end ineloquently on an incomplete thought, I wonder how much to read into the GI Joe episode. Such a thing should be from Abed. What does it mean that it’s from Jeff? A question for the philosophers, I suppose. Or me, when it’s not 3 a.m.
{P.S.- remember that it’s now canon that everything was destroyed by a meteor, according to Abed’s parting words.}
My thesis here is that Community finished(?) as it always was, infuriatingly esoteric and grandiosely content to make it by on the skin of their teeth. Pop-pop indeed.
And, I swear, if they cancel Hannibal too, I’m going to punch someone in the face.
I just recently
saw the movie Frozen, and I
was impressed with how much I loved it. I know, I know, you’re thinking “Nicci,
you say you liked almost all the movies you review. You’re a loving person
& I love that about you, but it’s hard to believe there are so many good
movies out there.” And you’re right; there are some really crappy movies out in
the world. Most movies made nowadays suck. But believe me in this case, this
movie was awesome! That said, it’s not so awesome people can’t find something
to make fun of, and those things are awesome too (personally I like the Honest
Trailers by Screen Junkies and How It Should Have Ended videos).
But back to my opinion about the movie; I thought it
was adorable. From a technical standpoint, the animation was superb and
deserved the Oscar and Golden Globe it got for Best Animated Feature. The
songs, and (more than that for me) the singing was also excellent. It might
help that I like the actors (Kristen Bell played Anna, Idina Menzel played her
older sister Elsa, and Jonathan Groff played Kristoff), even though I could
only hear them. But I also really like the writing, you know? The plot was
really good; though you would hope so with it being a Disney Princess movie (which
are usually pretty well done) and with 6 people given writing credits. Although
one of the writers given credit was Hans Christian Anderson, who is obviously
dead but wrote The Snow Queen,
which Frozen was based off
of. I read that the names of some of the characters were named after Hans
Christian Anderson-Hans, Kristoff, Anna, and Sven. See? I love little trivia
things like that; and I like it when movie makers have little homages to other
things or people. Like in this case, the guy who gave them a story that they
made the right call to work with. I mean, it really panned out well for all involved.
I just went on a Frozen trivia binge on IMDB
(a website I use a lot when writing these articles usually for spelling names
correctly), and this movie just went up a lot in my book. And it was up there
already, but you know that by now. Anyway, a quick synopsis: Elsa is a princess
with magical abilities but has to hide them because they are dangerous. Anna is
her cooped up little sister who is just as hidden as Elsa, holed up in their
castle because they’re (shocker for a Disney movie) orphans. When Elsa comes of
age, there is a coronation ceremony for her, but things go awry. Anna meets a
guy-Hans-and they fall in love & ask Elsa to get them married ASAP. But
she’s like “Um, you just met; you
can’t just marry a stranger. Do you know how often true love happens? Not
often. He’s like the first guy you’ve ever met. I’m not going to OK this.” Which
is awesome because in the traditional Disney Princess fashion, the shut-in girl
falls in love with the first guy she meets, & runs off & maries him. So
it was cool that they kind of did away with that, & in a making fun of the
older movies kind of way.
Subsequently, this
gets Elsa agitated, which in turn leads to her powers getting the better of
her, her getting run out of town as a witch, Anna leaving to find her, and the
movie really starts to get going. Along the course of the movie, we see Elsa unleash
her full potential (& sing that song everyone wants to get out of their
heads), meet Kristoff & his reindeer Sven, and the comic relief Olaf. I won’t
give away any more, but overall it is one of my favorite Disney movies. And I
love me some childish humor & talking animals (like The Lion King, The
Little Mermaid, The Princess and
the Frog); although I’m noticing that the last three Disney Princess movies
only one word (instead of the usual The adjective then noun formula for
Disney movies), and neither Tangled
or Frozen had talking animals.
Funny, easy to understand animal sidekicks that have personified facial
expressions and whatnot, but they don’t talk like Flounder or Gus-Gus. Anyway,
just an observation.
So, that’s about
it for this movie. And the other things I got off track about, sorry I go on so
many tangents. I like to think that’s part of my charm, though I know it can
get annoying. Anywhoo, what did you guys think of Frozen? Did you like the sisterly love aspect? And what do
you want me to review next?
In honor of its
recent DVD release, I would like to talk about how much I like this movie. As
far as sequels go, it’s one of the better ones. It might help that it was a
book first, but either way they did a good job. The budget got quite the
increase from the first movie, so they could afford to do a good job; or make a
terrible, cheap movie and pocket the rest. I’d respect them either way
(kidding). But fortunately, they made a good movie that people can now buy.
So it opens up
with Katniss about to go on her victory tour, a thing where the victors of the
Hunger Games go around to the other districts and basically shove it in their
faces that they are alive because they killed the friends/family members of the
people they’re visiting. Tensions are understandably high in that circumstance,
but seeing as the whole “two people got to live this time” thing started a
rebellion, there were outbursts throughout the whole tour. This only made
President Snow even more mad/excitingly evil. I don’t like the character, but I
like how good a bad guy Donald Sutherland is. I heard about a movie from the
‘70’s he was in, & he looked so
young!! I’ve only ever seen him older & white haired, so it was cool.
It’s called Don’t Start The
Revolution Without Me, and yes, I’m just now getting the irony.
So anyway, President
Snow’s pissed he’s losing control, the Districts are mad because they never had
any control, & everyone just needs to take a chill pill. Evidently, they
don’t take my advice (they never do), so things get a bit dicey. District 12
gets a new sheriff in town, and he whips our poor Gale! Then our poor Peeta
sees how much Katniss cares for him; as if being played by a Hemsworth brother
wasn’t lucky enough, he also gets the girl (& the girls/half the men
watching). This is when President Snow thinks it’s time to have an all-star
version of the Hunger Games. Because putting the most loved celebrity back into
a fight to the death with other loved
celebrities will definitely get you off of everyone’s shit-list.
So, we meet other
victors, some of which are cool, some of which are played by actors who I think
I might think are cooler if they were played by an actor who I found better,
more attractive, or more talented, or something. But, all the actors did a
great job nonetheless, and the arena was exciting (as a viewer, not so much for
the contestants). The special effects were awesome, and I loved the ending. I
read the book before the movie came out and I loved it then, but I still
thought the end of the arena-the beginning of the credits was splendid. And not
just because it meant I could pee for the first time in over 2 hours, or
because it was finally the end of a terrible movie like August: Osage County. Man that was a terrible movie; I know
I just said that, but wow. I did not like that one bit.
Anyway, I did like The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. It was a good movie all the
way around, and I can’t wait for the next installment to come out. PS-congrats
to Josh & Jennifer for winning Best Male & Female Performance at the
MTV Movie Awards & the movie itself won Best Movie of the Year. What did
you guys think of the film? What do you want me to review next?
Who absolutely
loves Gary Oldman & Natalie Portman? EVERYONE! One reason is because of
their performances in this movie. Valyrie and Anatole both adore Gary (yes, we
are on a first name basis; even if it’s only in my mind L ) and you should too. If you’ve seen Natalie (in
her first role) as Mathilda in this, you’ll agree with me that she should have
gotten at least an Oscar nomination for this. Both Natalie & Gary should
have gotten Oscars long before they did (Gary still doesn’t even have one yet,
just a single nomination). Jean Reno, who plays the title assassin, was also
wonderful in it; I don’t mean to diminish his role/performance, it’s just that
I love the other main actors/characters to death.
Speaking of
death, the movie is about an assassin, Leon played by Reno, who saves a little
girl (Mathilda played by an 11 year old Natalie) from bad guys her dad works
for. Her dad stole drugs from them, which based on the bloodbath that goes down
in her apartment, you should never do. Anyway, Gary Oldman plays the bad guy
(Stansfield) because he’s amazing at being the ne’er-do-well, and doesn’t want
any loose ends, so he and his men are looking for Mathilda so they can kill
her. Which now seems a bit extreme even from the get-go; these guys go to
weirdly great lengths considering the goal, but it never clicked how extreme
they were to begin with. On the other hand, boring people don’t make good
television.
Quick &
rather specific tangent, does anyone know the drug Gary Oldman’s character took
near the beginning? Not that I want it, in fact I want to go out of my way not to take it. Mostly I’m just curious
as to what would make someone react like that. It might be made up for the film
to show how weird he is; that’s probably what it is, never mind. Just to give
you guys perspective, this is the clip from the movie I was talking about:
So the movie
mostly focuses on the relationship between Leon and Mathilda. I think it’s cute
that these two loners become friends, seeing as I don’t think either one of
them lets anyone in very often. Mathilda only knows assholes (pardon my
swearing) and worrying about someone is an occupational hazard for Leon. There
were apparently talks about having a more romantic aspect to their
relationship, but it didn’t make it into the final movie. Mathilda seemed to
get a crush on Leon, but more than that, they were just friends. I’m glad with
the final decision on that topic; and it makes sense Mathilda would love the
first person to treat her with even one iota of decency (don’t worry, nothing
weird happens). The movie doesn’t show much background of these characters
before they all met/knew about each other, but you can kind of tell the
reasoning behind a lot of their actions based off of the little you see: the
only living this around Leon is a plant, the only person who makes Mathilda
smile is her cute little brother, and that clip above shows how off-putting
Stansfield is. Kudos to the writers & actors for being able to give a
background to these characters with only like a minute to do so before the
adventure starts.
So, what did you
guys think about this film? Loved it? I thought so. (Kidding) Really, tell me
what you thought, and what else I should write about.
