Glee.

Why Glee kind of sucks now.

What happened to Ryan Murphy?

By Valyrie Mia Stone

Fall TV this year started off pretty strong, with only a few exceptions (here’s looking at you, Animal Practice), but it was especially good for Ryan Murphy. Glee was doing an okay-ish job of blending into such new territory, American Horror Story was just as good as ever, and The New Normal was an adorable new frontrunner. And that lasted for a little under 2 months.

What went wrong? Well, let’s take it a step at a time.

First off, apparently Ryan Murphy decided to drop some acid for a solid 6 weeks. American Horror Story, I’ve never actually seen, but I heard that it was good. I also heard that after a handful of episodes, he revealed the identity of the main villain (we’ve missed you, Evil Zachary Quinto). So for those of you who wanted a really mundane rest of the show, tune in now.

The New Normal was so good starting out. It was a great, witty show that had a great message. But then why has it sucked the last few weeks? I don’t get it. For example, this past episode kicked off with a lovely and charming joke about balls that has been done at least 957 times and hasn't been funny for the last 955. Also, why does every gay couple on television need to have one swishy-glittery-Broadway-loving-Perez-Hilton-Gay guy and one brooding-more-masculine-‘I’m-barely-even-gay’-Elton-John-Gay guy. (example- Klaine on Glee, the dudes from Partners, and even Cam and Mitch from Modern Family). It’s driving me nuts, and I thought Ryan Murphy was better than that.

And then there’s Glee. Watching season 4 of Glee is causing me physical pain. There are a few characters I seriously want to punch in the face (and it’s not just the newbie’s. It’s actually mostly Finn) but more than that, I want to punch Ryan Murphy in the face. No, really- if someone just walked up to him on the street and slapped him across the face and just said “You know what you did!” I think it would be very helpful to his shows. Pull yourself together, Ryan Murphy. And to help you pull yourself together, here are some tips.

1.- Write off Kitty, Jake, that other new guy whose name I don’t care enough about to remember (I want to say like, Carter or something?), Unique, and (please forgive me) Finn. Especially Finn. His limitless self-pity and undeserved superiority has been getting on my nerves since season 2. We get it, he doesn’t know what to do with his life. Write something new. For example, a car accident where some actually gets hurt. And not just in-a-wheelchair-for-a-couple-episodes hurt, but like really hurt.

2.- Make it an actual school again. I mean it- I always loved how realistic this show managed to be (problem-solving musical numbers aside). What do I mean? Well, Carter (no, that doesn’t feel right…) apparently can’t read. Which happens, lots of people have dyslexia. They also have testing for that in Kindergarten. They check kids’ hearing, color vision, and reading skills. And if one of them couldn’t read, they would have noticed that. But you know what, maybe they didn’t have that testing at his school. But then they must not have had teachers either because someone would have asked him to read something at some point, and they would see that HE CAN’T READ! Also, perhaps more aggravatingly, a former student who was barely smart enough to graduate the previous year and who was kicked out of the army can’t lead Glee Club. All school programs must have a supervising teacher. It would have been just as easy for them to have Emma lead it on paper and bring Finn in anyway (or, we could re-consider that car accident...). The only redeeming quality about it was that Sue pointed that out. At least one of the writers was remotely intelligent.

3.- Bring back old cameo’s. You know what Glee fans are really missing right now? Seasons 1 and 2. Now, re-using old plots isn’t helping that. What will? Neal Patrick Harris. Really, if you wrote him into just one episode, it would bring old life back into the show while keeping it fresh. Also, feel free to bring back Matt Bomer, but avoid Kristen Chenoweth. I lover her too, but there is simply not a good way to pull that off the way the show is set up right now. The last time she was on the show was when it started falling apart (‘No, I can’t go fulfill my life’s dreams because I need to spend another year and a half with these kids who are my only friends because I need to get out more’. Jeez…).

4.- NYC. Seriously, the only writing that seems to be decent is when Rachel or Kurt is on the screen. And SJP and Kate Hudson are perfection on the show. Kate’s character is the only perfectly lovable villain on the show  now that Sue is no longer evil. Sure, her plans are a little extensive for really small offenses, but at least her burns actually burn (you should be taking notes, Kitty). The more that takes place here, the better.

5.- It truly pains me to say this, but do not reunite Klaine. Not yet, at least. Nobody loves them more than I do, but it would be a petty attempt to gain back fans from season 2, and it wouldn’t work. Wait until closer to the end of the season for that.

6.- If I see another stupid club like the Superhero Club, I will snap my remote in half. That is all.

Now, it’s not just Ryan Murphy, a lot of shows are falling apart lately. New Girl is the worst. Seriously, THE WORST. If it got cancelled, I don’t think I’d mind. Nick is driving me nuts.

 On that note, I would like to say that Don’t Trust The B- In Apartment 23 is one of the only shows this season that is managing to stay mostly consistent. Just you and The Voice. Thank you.

                                                                        -Kisses, V.

December Movies

December Movie Trailer Review

By: Nicolette Karter

        So this is a review of some of the movies coming out in December. I’m doing them all at once mostly because I’m not sure when I’ll be able to see the upcoming films (that come with a vengeance this time of year) or how many. A lot look good based on the trailer & synopsis of each.

        LES MISERABLES This looks fantastic. I’m a bit biased because I love musicals, but this looks like it’s also well made as a movie, musical numbers or not. The actors in the film are talented & dedicated, and based on the songs in this trailer, they can sing too.

        PARENTAL GUIDANCE I love Billy Crystal & Bette Midler, so those two as a married couple babysitting their grandchildren will bound to be awesome. Marisa Tomei (who I also love) plays the mom of said kids, who’s somehow both going on a business trip & in the trailer shown with her parents & kids a lot. Anyway, it looks really funny.

        PLAYING FOR KEEPS This looks like the kind of movie you get dragged too, & don’t hate it, but don’t love it either. It looks predictable (which isn’t always bad), but here it makes me exasperated.

        THIS IS 40 The “sort-of-sequel to Knocked Up” looks hilarious. Paul Rudd & Leslie Mann are both very brave & funny actors, & this seems to be one of those sequels that are just as funny as the original; though that could be because it’s more of a spin-off than a sequel.

        THE HOBBIT I’m sure that for people who are fans of the series (both books & movies) this looks good, but I honestly haven’t even seen any of the movies. I can’t rightfully say if this looks like it stays true to the books, but my friend said that it seems to be pretty accurate to the other movies. And based purely on the VFX of the trailer, the movie looks like it will be well made.

        THE GUILT TRIP Seth Rogen invites his mom Barbra Streisand on a road trip for work, and what insues looks hilarious. On their own, each actor is funny, & while this will have some stupid humor in it, I don’t think there’s enough to be put off by.

        DJANGO UNCHAINED Jamie Foxx is awesome, and this looks really good. It seems like it’s one of those movies you & your friends will get excited about talking about over dinner after watching it.

        All in all, most of the movies coming out the rest of 2012 look pretty good. A lot of really well made movies come out in November & December because this is when movies get Oscar recognition more so than the other times of the year, so it’s hard to keep up with all the good movies (& the sucky ones that are somehow always in the theaters) this time of year.

Julie & Julia

Julie & Julia

By: Nicolette Karter

        Meryl Streep is so funny, & I love both her and Amy Adams, who play Julia Child & Julie Powell respectively. The basic premise of this is Julie is lost & obsessed with Julia Child, so she decides to write a blog about her adventures following Julia Child’s cookbook in the hopes of both finding herself and getting published.

        The movie switches between Julia Child’s life & Julie Powell’s, which kind of mirror each other. Meryl Streep’s impersonation of Julia Child is hilarious, without even meaning to be. She got an Oscar nomination for her role in this, which makes sense because she did a fantastic job, and she did a good job at playing a real person (vs. a fictional character), which almost always gets some kind of recognition. (See Robert Downey Jr. for Charlie Chaplin in Chaplin, Meryl Streep for Margret Thatcher in The Iron Lady, etc….) I thought all the acting was excellent, and while I haven’t read the book, I enjoyed the movie & would assume they stayed true to it, especially seeing as one of the women it’s about is still alive & so obsessed with the other that she wouldn’t let them wrong her.

        One thing I hate about movies about food is that then I get really hungry, & nothing in my kitchen is as good as what they are having on the screen. On the plus side it sometimes makes the popcorn I’m eating (if I’m having some at the time) taste better somehow. Probably psychosomatics, but that’s beside the point.

        So, if you’re in the mood for a feel-good cute movie (more geared for women, so maybe for a girls’ night), I would recommend this movie. I would also recommend having some kind of delicious food to eat while watching it. But tell me what you think of this movie, & if you get hungry watching food-related movies. Also tell me if you have any movie review requests, I’d be happy to post a specific one for you.

The Food Network

Competitions, Fake Accents, Mysteries, and Bobby Flay.

The food network.

By: Valyrie Mia Stone.

 

Hello! In honor of my favorite non-frightening holiday that you don’t get stuff for, Thanksgiving, I am going to do a review of the entire food network. First off, I am ignoring their magazine because I am limiting this to their shows (although I do love said magazine. They had an entire chocolate one. How could I not?).

I’ll start with the Iron Chef. It’s iconic and awesome, and I love that there’s finally a competition between professionals. I also love how many times Bobby Flay has won. But the over-dramatic nature is a bit unnecessary and over the top, but since when do I hate over the top?  3.5 stars

Chopped I also like because one person wins per episode, not per season. But then it’s kinda like, well, if a bunch of people win, it means less.  3 stars.

Cupcake Wars. I love cupcakes, I hate wars. This show, while dramatic and ridiculous (much like war), is really addicting (much like cupcakes).  3.6 stars.

“Food Detectives” sounds hilarious, but I’ve never seen it. Get better advertising, and we’ll talk.

“How to Boil Water”. Seriously. I’m not joking. Go google it right now. Now weed through the how-to’s until you get to one talking about an actual show with this name. See? It exists. I don’t know why, but it does. I’ve never seen it, but I’m rating it because it deserves this just for it’s name.  1 star.

Hungry Detective, move to USA network. And didn’t we just do this same one?

“How’d that get on my plate”, go talk to the Food Detectives. Or Hungry Detective.

Last Cake Standing, congrats on teaching cakes how to stand.

Iron Chef America- surprisingly unpatriotic.

“Mystery Diners”. Seriously, some executive here has a thing for mysteries…

Anything with Paula Deen- 1.5 stars.

Anything with Rachel Ray or Giada De Laurentiis- 4 stars.

Anything with Bobby Flay- 4.5 stars.

Sweet Genius just feels like the bad guy in any animated kids show telling people to cook weird things that don’t make sense for his evil plan to take over the world. There is straight-up maniacal laughter. And for a Jewish guy, he’s got a pretty heavy fake-German accent. He just looks evil.

See? He looks like he’s about to light the room you’re in on fire and scurry away giggling.   .5 stars.

Throwdown with Bobby Flay- I have no criticisms. I love you. 4.7 stars.

                                                           

Overall, you get 4 stars, Food Network. But seriously, enough with the reality shows. If I want to watch a bunch of idiots attempt to cook, I’ll go to a pizzeria in New Jersey.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving.

                                                                      -Kisses, V.

Thanksgiving Raffle!

Hello everyone! How have you all been? Apparently not very well since not a single one of you was physically able to comment throughout the entire month of October. You know, how we had that Halloween Reviews Raffle? And it would appear as though all of you were in some sort of accident and were only capable of reading us, but not comment. But that’s okay, because you have probably all healed up by now, and hopefully you can all comment as we are rolling that raffle over into the brand new Thanksgiving Raffle. That’s right- in this next week, if you comment on any posts here, on my blog Artsy Fartsy (Anatole-m.blogspot.com) , or like us on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/?sk=welcome#!/pages/Popcorn-Addicts-Blog/204890416307739?fref=ts), then you will be entered into this raffle. Same rules as with our previous raffle.

          So, look for our soon-to-come posts, the twist being that all our post will capture and revolve around the true meaning of Thanksgiving -food!

                                                ~Love and wishes of good health and subsequent comments,                      Anatole.

This Means War

This Means War

By: Nicolette Karter

Popcorn Kernels that get stuck in your teeth

        Ugh, I’m tempted to not put much thought into this because obviously the people who made this don’t care about the film, but I have more integrity than that. Seriously, they had a lot to work with, yet this was just disappointing.

        So, Reese Witherspoon (Lauren) is a single woman looking for love. Chris Pine (FDR) & Tom Hardy (Tuck) are best friends & CIA agents, Chris a womanizer & Tom a single father. Sounds good so far, right? Love triangles are hot right now (smart to cash in on that), and they mixed it up (smart to change things up) by: having the characters be adults, not teens; having the men be friends since childhood; having exciting jobs for the men; and having the woman have a friend, because come to think of it, the women in other big love triangles in pop culture right now don’t really have girlfriends to talk things out with & get advice from. (Poor girls, being lovelorn, love torn, AND friendless. Stop picking on these girls Hollywood! They’ve suffered enough….Although it is entertaining.)

Anyway, that is the end of the praise I can possibly give to this film. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I really don’t think so. It was second-rate, especially considering the pull the actors have to make sure the movies they are in are actually decent. So, the writing was the worst part. It was flat, predictable (in a bad way, not like an “it’s nice not to think for 2 hours & just enjoy the face of the man wooing Katherine Heigl” way), and stupid. And on top of that, no one looked their best, so the make-up budget ball was also dropped.

Seriously, you may find Chelsea Handler offensive because at times she is, but you have to admit that she is beautiful. She played the aforementioned friend of Lauren (Trish) and her character had SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE.  Like I said before, the writing sucked, & it really shows with her. I feel like the creator sold this idea to someone who had no direction to take it in, so they decided to wing it & write whatever, or hated the idea & just owed someone a favor so they said “yea, I…I guess I’ll make the movie for you.” Or the writer was in the middle of brainstorming, and then someone else took over & thought they were done, so didn’t change anything. Either way, people really dropped the ball, & it should be clear by now how much the writing sucked.

But back to specifically talking about Trish & her lackluster looks, Miss Handler looked awful! And there wasn’t a lot to do to make her pretty, yet they seemed to go out of their way to make her look horrible. And they may not have wanted Trish to outshine Lauren in any regard (she didn’t), but her character wasn’t in enough scenes for that to be a problem, even if it had been well made. And no one looked their best! I mean, Reese Witherspoon looked frumpy, Chris Pine also looked bad, and Tom Hardy has probably looked better. It’s like someone’s 3 year old was in charge of make-up, and had a grudge against the actors.

So, those who saw this, 1^st off on behalf of the filmmakers, I’m sorry. Also, what did you think of this? Expectations not met? Disappointed? All Rom-Coms completely ruined for you? Or did you love this film, and if this is the case, please tell me the good points, because I clearly can’t see much thought put into this. Now, I’ve seen worse movies, but seeing as I had low expectations, & they weren’t even met…besides thinking about trying, the filmmakers didn’t really do a job worth praising.

Killers

Killers

By: Nicolette Karter

        So, if Katherine Heigl is in a movie, it generally will be a romantic comedy, where she’s the average unlucky-in-love lead actress & her hunky costar comes along & they end up together. This was sort of branching out for her, which I was proud of.

        Katherine Heigl (playing Jen) is single while vacationing in France. There she meets her hunky costar Ashton Kutcher, who is there for business. This business is of a rather secretive spy-like nature, so he pretends to be a consultant, which is something I have no idea what it is. But, besides his necessary secret keeping (he’d tell her, but then he’d have to kill her) & her not-so-smooth nerdy-ness beginning, they fell in love, or the “love bubble” as she calls it, & promptly got married to go live happily ever after in a house the size of a mall.

        Fast forward 3 years, they are still happy & in love & nothing bad happens aside from an occasional property line spat with a neighbor. Normally, a Katherine Heigl movie ends here, but like I said she branched out this time, so this is now where things will go awry. So remember that Ashton Kutcher’s character Spencer was keeping a secret? His old boss (played by Martin Mull) does, & makes contact with the former spy saying ominous riddles to get Spencer to go back to his old job. This is when Jen’s hilariously intimidating father Mr. “Call-Me-Sir” Kornfeldt (played by the awesome & handsomely mustached Tom Selleck) walks in to take his son-in-law to a birthday dinner. Perfect timing for Spencer because he was getting his gun out of a safe at that time, & it’s obvious these two men don’t get along. After going to Spencer & Jen’s house for a surprise birthday party instead of dinner, Jen is leaving for business the morning after.

        This is when people, specifically Spencer’s best friend Henry, are alerted that if they kill Spencer, they get 20 million dollars. Nice incentive, right? While Henry & Spencer are fighting, Jen walks in to spend more time with her loving, surprising, honest & not at all highly trained in the art of fighting/killing husband. She soon finds out there are some things she doesn’t know about him as more people try shooting & both husband & wife. A car chase & murder (in self-defense, to be fair) later, Spencer informs Jen he used to work for the blah-blah-blah & was given a license to blah, & he is a former assassin, who someone wants dead. This is when she informs him she might be pregnant, & Usher weirdly pops in for a cameo as a pregnancy test salesman.

The happy couple then goes to Spencer’s office to figure out a game plan & why someone wants to kill them. While Jen is taking the pregnancy test (is now really the time for that? I know it’s important, but come on), Spencer fights even more people who were in duo’s life for years. The body count ends up to be Spencer’s best friend, one of his workers, a woman who constantly hit on him (though now literally), a post man, his old boss, Jen’s friend, and their neighbors. So, pretty much anyone they know could be trying to kill them, which is reassuring. But the 20 million dollar question is who put the target on Spencer’s back? I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen it, but I like the small twist in this part.

As action-packed & murderously graphic it may sound, this movie isn’t bad about actually showing the murders, & is really funny. And if a married woman finds out her husband may have a secret or two, she can be glad she doesn’t have to dodge bullets because of it (unless it’s one hell of a secret like this, in which case good luck to you & your marriage counselor).