This Means War

This Means War

By: Nicolette Karter

Popcorn Kernels that get stuck in your teeth

        Ugh, I’m tempted to not put much thought into this because obviously the people who made this don’t care about the film, but I have more integrity than that. Seriously, they had a lot to work with, yet this was just disappointing.

        So, Reese Witherspoon (Lauren) is a single woman looking for love. Chris Pine (FDR) & Tom Hardy (Tuck) are best friends & CIA agents, Chris a womanizer & Tom a single father. Sounds good so far, right? Love triangles are hot right now (smart to cash in on that), and they mixed it up (smart to change things up) by: having the characters be adults, not teens; having the men be friends since childhood; having exciting jobs for the men; and having the woman have a friend, because come to think of it, the women in other big love triangles in pop culture right now don’t really have girlfriends to talk things out with & get advice from. (Poor girls, being lovelorn, love torn, AND friendless. Stop picking on these girls Hollywood! They’ve suffered enough….Although it is entertaining.)

Anyway, that is the end of the praise I can possibly give to this film. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I really don’t think so. It was second-rate, especially considering the pull the actors have to make sure the movies they are in are actually decent. So, the writing was the worst part. It was flat, predictable (in a bad way, not like an “it’s nice not to think for 2 hours & just enjoy the face of the man wooing Katherine Heigl” way), and stupid. And on top of that, no one looked their best, so the make-up budget ball was also dropped.

Seriously, you may find Chelsea Handler offensive because at times she is, but you have to admit that she is beautiful. She played the aforementioned friend of Lauren (Trish) and her character had SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE.  Like I said before, the writing sucked, & it really shows with her. I feel like the creator sold this idea to someone who had no direction to take it in, so they decided to wing it & write whatever, or hated the idea & just owed someone a favor so they said “yea, I…I guess I’ll make the movie for you.” Or the writer was in the middle of brainstorming, and then someone else took over & thought they were done, so didn’t change anything. Either way, people really dropped the ball, & it should be clear by now how much the writing sucked.

But back to specifically talking about Trish & her lackluster looks, Miss Handler looked awful! And there wasn’t a lot to do to make her pretty, yet they seemed to go out of their way to make her look horrible. And they may not have wanted Trish to outshine Lauren in any regard (she didn’t), but her character wasn’t in enough scenes for that to be a problem, even if it had been well made. And no one looked their best! I mean, Reese Witherspoon looked frumpy, Chris Pine also looked bad, and Tom Hardy has probably looked better. It’s like someone’s 3 year old was in charge of make-up, and had a grudge against the actors.

So, those who saw this, 1^st off on behalf of the filmmakers, I’m sorry. Also, what did you think of this? Expectations not met? Disappointed? All Rom-Coms completely ruined for you? Or did you love this film, and if this is the case, please tell me the good points, because I clearly can’t see much thought put into this. Now, I’ve seen worse movies, but seeing as I had low expectations, & they weren’t even met…besides thinking about trying, the filmmakers didn’t really do a job worth praising.