Glee.

Why Glee kind of sucks now.

What happened to Ryan Murphy?

By Valyrie Mia Stone

Fall TV this year started off pretty strong, with only a few exceptions (here’s looking at you, Animal Practice), but it was especially good for Ryan Murphy. Glee was doing an okay-ish job of blending into such new territory, American Horror Story was just as good as ever, and The New Normal was an adorable new frontrunner. And that lasted for a little under 2 months.

What went wrong? Well, let’s take it a step at a time.

First off, apparently Ryan Murphy decided to drop some acid for a solid 6 weeks. American Horror Story, I’ve never actually seen, but I heard that it was good. I also heard that after a handful of episodes, he revealed the identity of the main villain (we’ve missed you, Evil Zachary Quinto). So for those of you who wanted a really mundane rest of the show, tune in now.

The New Normal was so good starting out. It was a great, witty show that had a great message. But then why has it sucked the last few weeks? I don’t get it. For example, this past episode kicked off with a lovely and charming joke about balls that has been done at least 957 times and hasn't been funny for the last 955. Also, why does every gay couple on television need to have one swishy-glittery-Broadway-loving-Perez-Hilton-Gay guy and one brooding-more-masculine-‘I’m-barely-even-gay’-Elton-John-Gay guy. (example- Klaine on Glee, the dudes from Partners, and even Cam and Mitch from Modern Family). It’s driving me nuts, and I thought Ryan Murphy was better than that.

And then there’s Glee. Watching season 4 of Glee is causing me physical pain. There are a few characters I seriously want to punch in the face (and it’s not just the newbie’s. It’s actually mostly Finn) but more than that, I want to punch Ryan Murphy in the face. No, really- if someone just walked up to him on the street and slapped him across the face and just said “You know what you did!” I think it would be very helpful to his shows. Pull yourself together, Ryan Murphy. And to help you pull yourself together, here are some tips.

1.- Write off Kitty, Jake, that other new guy whose name I don’t care enough about to remember (I want to say like, Carter or something?), Unique, and (please forgive me) Finn. Especially Finn. His limitless self-pity and undeserved superiority has been getting on my nerves since season 2. We get it, he doesn’t know what to do with his life. Write something new. For example, a car accident where some actually gets hurt. And not just in-a-wheelchair-for-a-couple-episodes hurt, but like really hurt.

2.- Make it an actual school again. I mean it- I always loved how realistic this show managed to be (problem-solving musical numbers aside). What do I mean? Well, Carter (no, that doesn’t feel right…) apparently can’t read. Which happens, lots of people have dyslexia. They also have testing for that in Kindergarten. They check kids’ hearing, color vision, and reading skills. And if one of them couldn’t read, they would have noticed that. But you know what, maybe they didn’t have that testing at his school. But then they must not have had teachers either because someone would have asked him to read something at some point, and they would see that HE CAN’T READ! Also, perhaps more aggravatingly, a former student who was barely smart enough to graduate the previous year and who was kicked out of the army can’t lead Glee Club. All school programs must have a supervising teacher. It would have been just as easy for them to have Emma lead it on paper and bring Finn in anyway (or, we could re-consider that car accident...). The only redeeming quality about it was that Sue pointed that out. At least one of the writers was remotely intelligent.

3.- Bring back old cameo’s. You know what Glee fans are really missing right now? Seasons 1 and 2. Now, re-using old plots isn’t helping that. What will? Neal Patrick Harris. Really, if you wrote him into just one episode, it would bring old life back into the show while keeping it fresh. Also, feel free to bring back Matt Bomer, but avoid Kristen Chenoweth. I lover her too, but there is simply not a good way to pull that off the way the show is set up right now. The last time she was on the show was when it started falling apart (‘No, I can’t go fulfill my life’s dreams because I need to spend another year and a half with these kids who are my only friends because I need to get out more’. Jeez…).

4.- NYC. Seriously, the only writing that seems to be decent is when Rachel or Kurt is on the screen. And SJP and Kate Hudson are perfection on the show. Kate’s character is the only perfectly lovable villain on the show  now that Sue is no longer evil. Sure, her plans are a little extensive for really small offenses, but at least her burns actually burn (you should be taking notes, Kitty). The more that takes place here, the better.

5.- It truly pains me to say this, but do not reunite Klaine. Not yet, at least. Nobody loves them more than I do, but it would be a petty attempt to gain back fans from season 2, and it wouldn’t work. Wait until closer to the end of the season for that.

6.- If I see another stupid club like the Superhero Club, I will snap my remote in half. That is all.

Now, it’s not just Ryan Murphy, a lot of shows are falling apart lately. New Girl is the worst. Seriously, THE WORST. If it got cancelled, I don’t think I’d mind. Nick is driving me nuts.

 On that note, I would like to say that Don’t Trust The B- In Apartment 23 is one of the only shows this season that is managing to stay mostly consistent. Just you and The Voice. Thank you.

                                                                        -Kisses, V.