Paul

Paul

By: Nicolette Karter

        This was really funny. Yes stupid at times, but overall it was less stupid & more funny than I thought it would be before watching it. Not to mention everyone in it is hilarious

First off, I love Seth Rogen’s voice & he did the voiceover work for the CGI alien, named Paul. He meets these two British tourists (Simon Pegg & Nick Frost) visiting America for Comic-con & a supernatural-infested road trip (with stops like Area 51, a spaceship landing site, etc…). So when they meet Paul (after one of the guys fainted), they hit it off & agreed to help the alien go home.

On the way, they encounter Kristen Wiig’s religious Ruth, who gets healed & educated by Paul after kind of being taken by the British duo. As the funny gang head to where Paul can hitch a ride back home, they have to run from Jason Bateman (playing Agent Zoil), who leads the charge of Bill Hader (Haggard) & Joe Lo Truglio (O’Rielly) whose jobs it is to chase down & catch the fugitive alien (he escaped where the government was doing tests on him, which is frowned upon). Not to mention Ruth’s uber-religious & dedicated father who doesn’t like the fact that his daughter was corrupted & stolen by an alien. So they are having a wonderful day.

        Despite some obstacles, they have a good time & entertain the audience in the meantime. Seth Rogen isn’t known for his clean, family-friendly humor, so expect the same type of jokes as Knocked Up, with vulgar language, and hilarity that will make you blush if you laugh then remember your mom or little brother or a stranger is right next to you. And although they only just met, everyone becomes really close friends, which leads me to a tangent:

I know there are time constraints with movies, & realistically, if I were to be in a running-from-the-government-to-save-an-enlightening-yet-also-blush-inducing-alien-in-what-could-(and does)-turn-into-life-threatening-scenarios, I would probably make friends pretty quick, but in almost every movie that has situations like this, people all end up friends. Even if they weren’t instantly buddy-buddy, by the end of the film, most people will owe each other their lives, or at the very least a “thank you”. Not that I’m saying people shouldn’t be friends, and it makes sense that you would understand each other in circumstances that require people to show their true colors more than an average meeting for coffee type of day. I just don’t like how in most movies like this, people becomes best friends so quickly & easily, especially when there isn’t a lot of friction (and even more so when opposites-like a “Jesus Rules” lady & and alien-are suddenly thrust together. I’ll (somehow) talk more about it in my The Avengers review. But I digress.

So, there are several car chases (although Paul & Co. were in an RV, so I’m not sure if that counts as a car chase or not, but whatever) and jokes along the way, but the group still ends up at Paul’s crash site. Unfortunately, the people chasing them also get to the same place, and this is where the climax of the movie happens. And, despite any & all touching moments, it still ends on a funny note. I like how it shows the hilarious, spot-on awkwardness of the situation that happens right after the climax (sorry for the illiteracy, I jut don’t want to give anything away.)

Well, unless you hate probing jokes, I would recommend you watch this movie, because it’s really funny. What did those of you who watched it think? And, off-topic, please tell me what movie you would like for me to review next. I’d be more than happy to do that/them for you.

The Voice

Methed-out Santas, My Top 6, and Christina Aguilera.
The Voice
By Valyrie Mia Stone

Hey guys! I haven't talked about The Voice since the Blinds, so I thought I'd bring it back up. The Finals are next week (exciting!) and I have to say, I am really dissapointed in the final 3. I mean, I expressed my dislike for Nicholas Davis from the very begining, and I stand by my statement-

Speaking of “wow”, there was Nicholas David. First off, I automatically don’t like people with 2 first names. Second, he looks like a methed-out Santa. I was like, wow, anyone this weird must be able to sing. Nope. All the back-ally-behind-a-Toys-R-Us-drug-dealer with none of the talent.

He was the only one of the top three that I ended up posting about because, honestly, I didn't think the other two were memorable enough to make it past the battle rounds. I only talked about him becasue I had something kinda funny to say. So I'll say it now.

Terry McDermot is only this successful because of his adorable child. What, did I offend you? Well, sorry, but it's true. Now, listen, he's good. But he isn't a star. He would have been super popular in the '90s. He's got good pitch and makes you really enjoy yourself, but not in a god-this-person-is-talented-Adele-kind-of-way, but in a what-a-good-song-kind-of-way. He's getting votes because he seems like such a good father and he's got a cool accent, not because he's a star.

Cassadee Pope is good. I don't have a joke here, I simply misjudged her from the begining. I didn't think she was that great, and I hate it when people who already had a band or some kind of stepping stone goes on a show like this, but she really is talented. But she doesn't deserve to be in the top 3.

"So who does?" you ask me. Well, I'm glad you asked. Here is my top 6, and subsequently my top 3 (in order from 6th place,  unless otherwise specified)

Cody Belew-
          Now, he wasn’t the best person on this, but first off, he’s just so entertaining that I don’t care and second, he needs to do a duet with Melanie “I-love-you-so-much” Martinez. Seriously, the fourth best performance was “Rhythm of Love”, mostly because of the harmony between these two.

Tie!- MarrissaAnn and Paulina
          Now, some of you may be asking, “who are they?”. Well, they didn’t make it very far, but I see potential. 5^th place potential, but still, I’d just like to see what they can do.

Michaela Paige
          I had some trouble deciding where to put her, she’s good enough for the top 3, but not quite as ready as the others. But I still see her putting out music later in life.


Chevonne
          I love her. Not only is she talented, but she is a star. I love her and she had better make an album at some point and prove the Voice wrong (she didn’t even make it to the Live shows!). I’m looking forward to you, honey. Also, I put Titanium as her video, and Avery was also talented. Pretend I put him in with MarrissaAnn and Paulina. But the comments in this video are so mean to Chevonne! And I like mean! But they were so hurtful and rude, I just wanted to hit them in the head with a tennis racket and rush Chevonne to a recording studio. (My computer started getting wierd, so I had to put the remainder of the videos way below. I don't understand this computer.)              


1^st Place!- Amanda Brown
          You may be wondering why I am putting 1^st place before 2^nd. Well, that’s because I wanted to finish with Melanie, but I want her to come in second place. That way, she can get a record deal outside of the constrictions of winning a competition. She can have more creative control. Anyway, Amanda is so good. Here’s proof (the third best performance-and a close third at that):



2^nd Place!- Melanie Martinez.
          I think this is pretty self-explanatory. She simply deserves it. (Plus she has the top 2 performances: In no particular order- Toxic and Too Close) Here’s my previous review of her:

And then there was Melanie Martinez. Melanie “Foot Tambourine” Martinez. Melanie “Daphne Guinness Hair” Martinez. She sounds like a haunting Minnie Mouse, and it’s not just the bow in her hair. I hope she wins, I really do. I would so buy her album if she made one. I would love to hear her do Smooth Criminal. But, really, she could sing me the Atlanta Phonebook and I’d be happy. Wow, just wow.

 But, good news, even though she didn’t make it to 2^nd place, she still has an EP coming out! Yay! Hair bows and tooth gaps unite!

 

I wanted to take a moment to verbally slap Christina Aguilera. Honey, I know your career is tanking- like, soooooo bad- but still, you are getting so annoying. Now, I have always loved you, and I’ve stood up for you many times, but you are making it very hard to defend you. For example, Melanie has two wonderful performances, and you complement the prop guy. Both times. When it wasn’t even his idea (thank you, Adam, for calling her out on that). What is that? I know that you are running out of cheap Japanese fans and alien equipment that you wear as a hat, but that doesn’t mean you can be rude. People can be talented even if they aren’t on your team. And once your team got booted off completely, you just hated Adam’s team. You seriously aren’t even making sense anymore. What did he ever do to you? (I likeyou Adam, despite the fact that you have comically expensive ripped shirts).

                                                                   -Kisses, V.

Natural Born Killers

Natural Born Killers

By: Nicolette Karter

        So, I’ve said before how awesome I think Woody Harrelson is, but I also love Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey Jr., & Tommy Lee Jones. So it makes sense that when I saw they were all in this, it caught my interest. It was weird, too be sure, but by the end of the movie I actually liked the film.

        The film starts by showing Mickey (Woody Harrelson) & Mallory (Juliette Lewis) Knox randomly killing almost everyone in the diner they were at. The married couple seemed to really enjoy the murders, & the one scared shitless guy left alive was spared to spread the word of Mickey & Mallory Knox (dun dun dunnnnnn…) continuing their killing spree. This is great for reporter Wayne Gale (RDJ) & Detective Scagnetti (Tom Sizemore), who make tons of money off the growing fame of the serial killing duo.

        I think that this was supposed to show how backwards our media obsessed society is, by allowing people to idolize murderers they same way one might idolize Bradgelina (who ironically met while playing assassins, or paid murderers). But at the same time, I would like to know if I’m in the same room as a serial killer or two, so I ‘m glad they get famous. Also, the more famous a dangerous person is, the less places they can hide, right? Though some to think of it, then they may have to resort to dark actions because they can’t catch a break. It’s a conundrum, & I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it.

        Tangent aside, there was a love story in this, which was weirdly a very romantic considering the film is about killing people. Mickey & Mallory just love each other completely & can’t stand being away from each other. They fight, & even though she’s a girl (& people still have a stigma about hitting girls, & they shouldn’t get in fights because they wouldn’t hold their own or whatever) she can really throw a punch & I thought it was really progressive of Mickey for letting her take half the fights. But they have each other’s back, & understand the other. The film shows they both come from troubled backgrounds, & had to kill to get out. And since they met, they were inseparable & I was rooting for these two crazy kids by the middle of the movie. It’s like the Notebook but with a killing spree.

        And, to get a better life for themselves, they decide to stop killing people, but it doesn’t go as well as planned, & wind up in jail. Understandably, because while they are misunderstood & want to change, they still did kill a lot of people. So, this is where Tommy Lee Jones fits in as the awesome badass warden of the prison they got put into. No warden could get away with what he does, but it’s a movie, so he does. And the inmates know not to mess with him, plus it gives Mr. Jones a chance to act crazy so I don’t mind.

        It’s here that RDJ comes in for an interview with Mickey, & the climax starts. A lot of stuff happens, including a prison riot & this is when Mickey tries to go across the prison to reach Mallory, because as I said before, they are madly in love with each other. Several more deaths (not all at the hands of Mickey & Mallory) occur, & the best part is, it was all on live TV, because of the interview with RDJ. People, turn the camera off when people start to die, you can’t put that on TV, it’s illegal. But it’s also a movie, so whatever.

        Anyway, I would say this movie is worth a chance, even though it’s a little freaky. I was getting weirded out at the beginning, but I loved it by the end. And there aren’t a lot of graphic murders or other things (remember, madly in love married couple), so unless you are really squeamish &/or hate movies that have psychedelic effects, I think you would like this movie. And the depth & chemistry the actors gave to their characters, especially Mickey & Mallory (Woody & Juliette have amazing chemistry together) is laudable.

Glee.

Why Glee kind of sucks now.

What happened to Ryan Murphy?

By Valyrie Mia Stone

Fall TV this year started off pretty strong, with only a few exceptions (here’s looking at you, Animal Practice), but it was especially good for Ryan Murphy. Glee was doing an okay-ish job of blending into such new territory, American Horror Story was just as good as ever, and The New Normal was an adorable new frontrunner. And that lasted for a little under 2 months.

What went wrong? Well, let’s take it a step at a time.

First off, apparently Ryan Murphy decided to drop some acid for a solid 6 weeks. American Horror Story, I’ve never actually seen, but I heard that it was good. I also heard that after a handful of episodes, he revealed the identity of the main villain (we’ve missed you, Evil Zachary Quinto). So for those of you who wanted a really mundane rest of the show, tune in now.

The New Normal was so good starting out. It was a great, witty show that had a great message. But then why has it sucked the last few weeks? I don’t get it. For example, this past episode kicked off with a lovely and charming joke about balls that has been done at least 957 times and hasn't been funny for the last 955. Also, why does every gay couple on television need to have one swishy-glittery-Broadway-loving-Perez-Hilton-Gay guy and one brooding-more-masculine-‘I’m-barely-even-gay’-Elton-John-Gay guy. (example- Klaine on Glee, the dudes from Partners, and even Cam and Mitch from Modern Family). It’s driving me nuts, and I thought Ryan Murphy was better than that.

And then there’s Glee. Watching season 4 of Glee is causing me physical pain. There are a few characters I seriously want to punch in the face (and it’s not just the newbie’s. It’s actually mostly Finn) but more than that, I want to punch Ryan Murphy in the face. No, really- if someone just walked up to him on the street and slapped him across the face and just said “You know what you did!” I think it would be very helpful to his shows. Pull yourself together, Ryan Murphy. And to help you pull yourself together, here are some tips.

1.- Write off Kitty, Jake, that other new guy whose name I don’t care enough about to remember (I want to say like, Carter or something?), Unique, and (please forgive me) Finn. Especially Finn. His limitless self-pity and undeserved superiority has been getting on my nerves since season 2. We get it, he doesn’t know what to do with his life. Write something new. For example, a car accident where some actually gets hurt. And not just in-a-wheelchair-for-a-couple-episodes hurt, but like really hurt.

2.- Make it an actual school again. I mean it- I always loved how realistic this show managed to be (problem-solving musical numbers aside). What do I mean? Well, Carter (no, that doesn’t feel right…) apparently can’t read. Which happens, lots of people have dyslexia. They also have testing for that in Kindergarten. They check kids’ hearing, color vision, and reading skills. And if one of them couldn’t read, they would have noticed that. But you know what, maybe they didn’t have that testing at his school. But then they must not have had teachers either because someone would have asked him to read something at some point, and they would see that HE CAN’T READ! Also, perhaps more aggravatingly, a former student who was barely smart enough to graduate the previous year and who was kicked out of the army can’t lead Glee Club. All school programs must have a supervising teacher. It would have been just as easy for them to have Emma lead it on paper and bring Finn in anyway (or, we could re-consider that car accident...). The only redeeming quality about it was that Sue pointed that out. At least one of the writers was remotely intelligent.

3.- Bring back old cameo’s. You know what Glee fans are really missing right now? Seasons 1 and 2. Now, re-using old plots isn’t helping that. What will? Neal Patrick Harris. Really, if you wrote him into just one episode, it would bring old life back into the show while keeping it fresh. Also, feel free to bring back Matt Bomer, but avoid Kristen Chenoweth. I lover her too, but there is simply not a good way to pull that off the way the show is set up right now. The last time she was on the show was when it started falling apart (‘No, I can’t go fulfill my life’s dreams because I need to spend another year and a half with these kids who are my only friends because I need to get out more’. Jeez…).

4.- NYC. Seriously, the only writing that seems to be decent is when Rachel or Kurt is on the screen. And SJP and Kate Hudson are perfection on the show. Kate’s character is the only perfectly lovable villain on the show  now that Sue is no longer evil. Sure, her plans are a little extensive for really small offenses, but at least her burns actually burn (you should be taking notes, Kitty). The more that takes place here, the better.

5.- It truly pains me to say this, but do not reunite Klaine. Not yet, at least. Nobody loves them more than I do, but it would be a petty attempt to gain back fans from season 2, and it wouldn’t work. Wait until closer to the end of the season for that.

6.- If I see another stupid club like the Superhero Club, I will snap my remote in half. That is all.

Now, it’s not just Ryan Murphy, a lot of shows are falling apart lately. New Girl is the worst. Seriously, THE WORST. If it got cancelled, I don’t think I’d mind. Nick is driving me nuts.

 On that note, I would like to say that Don’t Trust The B- In Apartment 23 is one of the only shows this season that is managing to stay mostly consistent. Just you and The Voice. Thank you.

                                                                        -Kisses, V.

December Movies

December Movie Trailer Review

By: Nicolette Karter

        So this is a review of some of the movies coming out in December. I’m doing them all at once mostly because I’m not sure when I’ll be able to see the upcoming films (that come with a vengeance this time of year) or how many. A lot look good based on the trailer & synopsis of each.

        LES MISERABLES This looks fantastic. I’m a bit biased because I love musicals, but this looks like it’s also well made as a movie, musical numbers or not. The actors in the film are talented & dedicated, and based on the songs in this trailer, they can sing too.

        PARENTAL GUIDANCE I love Billy Crystal & Bette Midler, so those two as a married couple babysitting their grandchildren will bound to be awesome. Marisa Tomei (who I also love) plays the mom of said kids, who’s somehow both going on a business trip & in the trailer shown with her parents & kids a lot. Anyway, it looks really funny.

        PLAYING FOR KEEPS This looks like the kind of movie you get dragged too, & don’t hate it, but don’t love it either. It looks predictable (which isn’t always bad), but here it makes me exasperated.

        THIS IS 40 The “sort-of-sequel to Knocked Up” looks hilarious. Paul Rudd & Leslie Mann are both very brave & funny actors, & this seems to be one of those sequels that are just as funny as the original; though that could be because it’s more of a spin-off than a sequel.

        THE HOBBIT I’m sure that for people who are fans of the series (both books & movies) this looks good, but I honestly haven’t even seen any of the movies. I can’t rightfully say if this looks like it stays true to the books, but my friend said that it seems to be pretty accurate to the other movies. And based purely on the VFX of the trailer, the movie looks like it will be well made.

        THE GUILT TRIP Seth Rogen invites his mom Barbra Streisand on a road trip for work, and what insues looks hilarious. On their own, each actor is funny, & while this will have some stupid humor in it, I don’t think there’s enough to be put off by.

        DJANGO UNCHAINED Jamie Foxx is awesome, and this looks really good. It seems like it’s one of those movies you & your friends will get excited about talking about over dinner after watching it.

        All in all, most of the movies coming out the rest of 2012 look pretty good. A lot of really well made movies come out in November & December because this is when movies get Oscar recognition more so than the other times of the year, so it’s hard to keep up with all the good movies (& the sucky ones that are somehow always in the theaters) this time of year.

Julie & Julia

Julie & Julia

By: Nicolette Karter

        Meryl Streep is so funny, & I love both her and Amy Adams, who play Julia Child & Julie Powell respectively. The basic premise of this is Julie is lost & obsessed with Julia Child, so she decides to write a blog about her adventures following Julia Child’s cookbook in the hopes of both finding herself and getting published.

        The movie switches between Julia Child’s life & Julie Powell’s, which kind of mirror each other. Meryl Streep’s impersonation of Julia Child is hilarious, without even meaning to be. She got an Oscar nomination for her role in this, which makes sense because she did a fantastic job, and she did a good job at playing a real person (vs. a fictional character), which almost always gets some kind of recognition. (See Robert Downey Jr. for Charlie Chaplin in Chaplin, Meryl Streep for Margret Thatcher in The Iron Lady, etc….) I thought all the acting was excellent, and while I haven’t read the book, I enjoyed the movie & would assume they stayed true to it, especially seeing as one of the women it’s about is still alive & so obsessed with the other that she wouldn’t let them wrong her.

        One thing I hate about movies about food is that then I get really hungry, & nothing in my kitchen is as good as what they are having on the screen. On the plus side it sometimes makes the popcorn I’m eating (if I’m having some at the time) taste better somehow. Probably psychosomatics, but that’s beside the point.

        So, if you’re in the mood for a feel-good cute movie (more geared for women, so maybe for a girls’ night), I would recommend this movie. I would also recommend having some kind of delicious food to eat while watching it. But tell me what you think of this movie, & if you get hungry watching food-related movies. Also tell me if you have any movie review requests, I’d be happy to post a specific one for you.

The Food Network

Competitions, Fake Accents, Mysteries, and Bobby Flay.

The food network.

By: Valyrie Mia Stone.

 

Hello! In honor of my favorite non-frightening holiday that you don’t get stuff for, Thanksgiving, I am going to do a review of the entire food network. First off, I am ignoring their magazine because I am limiting this to their shows (although I do love said magazine. They had an entire chocolate one. How could I not?).

I’ll start with the Iron Chef. It’s iconic and awesome, and I love that there’s finally a competition between professionals. I also love how many times Bobby Flay has won. But the over-dramatic nature is a bit unnecessary and over the top, but since when do I hate over the top?  3.5 stars

Chopped I also like because one person wins per episode, not per season. But then it’s kinda like, well, if a bunch of people win, it means less.  3 stars.

Cupcake Wars. I love cupcakes, I hate wars. This show, while dramatic and ridiculous (much like war), is really addicting (much like cupcakes).  3.6 stars.

“Food Detectives” sounds hilarious, but I’ve never seen it. Get better advertising, and we’ll talk.

“How to Boil Water”. Seriously. I’m not joking. Go google it right now. Now weed through the how-to’s until you get to one talking about an actual show with this name. See? It exists. I don’t know why, but it does. I’ve never seen it, but I’m rating it because it deserves this just for it’s name.  1 star.

Hungry Detective, move to USA network. And didn’t we just do this same one?

“How’d that get on my plate”, go talk to the Food Detectives. Or Hungry Detective.

Last Cake Standing, congrats on teaching cakes how to stand.

Iron Chef America- surprisingly unpatriotic.

“Mystery Diners”. Seriously, some executive here has a thing for mysteries…

Anything with Paula Deen- 1.5 stars.

Anything with Rachel Ray or Giada De Laurentiis- 4 stars.

Anything with Bobby Flay- 4.5 stars.

Sweet Genius just feels like the bad guy in any animated kids show telling people to cook weird things that don’t make sense for his evil plan to take over the world. There is straight-up maniacal laughter. And for a Jewish guy, he’s got a pretty heavy fake-German accent. He just looks evil.

See? He looks like he’s about to light the room you’re in on fire and scurry away giggling.   .5 stars.

Throwdown with Bobby Flay- I have no criticisms. I love you. 4.7 stars.

                                                           

Overall, you get 4 stars, Food Network. But seriously, enough with the reality shows. If I want to watch a bunch of idiots attempt to cook, I’ll go to a pizzeria in New Jersey.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving.

                                                                      -Kisses, V.

Thanksgiving Raffle!

Hello everyone! How have you all been? Apparently not very well since not a single one of you was physically able to comment throughout the entire month of October. You know, how we had that Halloween Reviews Raffle? And it would appear as though all of you were in some sort of accident and were only capable of reading us, but not comment. But that’s okay, because you have probably all healed up by now, and hopefully you can all comment as we are rolling that raffle over into the brand new Thanksgiving Raffle. That’s right- in this next week, if you comment on any posts here, on my blog Artsy Fartsy (Anatole-m.blogspot.com) , or like us on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/?sk=welcome#!/pages/Popcorn-Addicts-Blog/204890416307739?fref=ts), then you will be entered into this raffle. Same rules as with our previous raffle.

          So, look for our soon-to-come posts, the twist being that all our post will capture and revolve around the true meaning of Thanksgiving -food!

                                                ~Love and wishes of good health and subsequent comments,                      Anatole.

This Means War

This Means War

By: Nicolette Karter

Popcorn Kernels that get stuck in your teeth

        Ugh, I’m tempted to not put much thought into this because obviously the people who made this don’t care about the film, but I have more integrity than that. Seriously, they had a lot to work with, yet this was just disappointing.

        So, Reese Witherspoon (Lauren) is a single woman looking for love. Chris Pine (FDR) & Tom Hardy (Tuck) are best friends & CIA agents, Chris a womanizer & Tom a single father. Sounds good so far, right? Love triangles are hot right now (smart to cash in on that), and they mixed it up (smart to change things up) by: having the characters be adults, not teens; having the men be friends since childhood; having exciting jobs for the men; and having the woman have a friend, because come to think of it, the women in other big love triangles in pop culture right now don’t really have girlfriends to talk things out with & get advice from. (Poor girls, being lovelorn, love torn, AND friendless. Stop picking on these girls Hollywood! They’ve suffered enough….Although it is entertaining.)

Anyway, that is the end of the praise I can possibly give to this film. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I really don’t think so. It was second-rate, especially considering the pull the actors have to make sure the movies they are in are actually decent. So, the writing was the worst part. It was flat, predictable (in a bad way, not like an “it’s nice not to think for 2 hours & just enjoy the face of the man wooing Katherine Heigl” way), and stupid. And on top of that, no one looked their best, so the make-up budget ball was also dropped.

Seriously, you may find Chelsea Handler offensive because at times she is, but you have to admit that she is beautiful. She played the aforementioned friend of Lauren (Trish) and her character had SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE.  Like I said before, the writing sucked, & it really shows with her. I feel like the creator sold this idea to someone who had no direction to take it in, so they decided to wing it & write whatever, or hated the idea & just owed someone a favor so they said “yea, I…I guess I’ll make the movie for you.” Or the writer was in the middle of brainstorming, and then someone else took over & thought they were done, so didn’t change anything. Either way, people really dropped the ball, & it should be clear by now how much the writing sucked.

But back to specifically talking about Trish & her lackluster looks, Miss Handler looked awful! And there wasn’t a lot to do to make her pretty, yet they seemed to go out of their way to make her look horrible. And they may not have wanted Trish to outshine Lauren in any regard (she didn’t), but her character wasn’t in enough scenes for that to be a problem, even if it had been well made. And no one looked their best! I mean, Reese Witherspoon looked frumpy, Chris Pine also looked bad, and Tom Hardy has probably looked better. It’s like someone’s 3 year old was in charge of make-up, and had a grudge against the actors.

So, those who saw this, 1^st off on behalf of the filmmakers, I’m sorry. Also, what did you think of this? Expectations not met? Disappointed? All Rom-Coms completely ruined for you? Or did you love this film, and if this is the case, please tell me the good points, because I clearly can’t see much thought put into this. Now, I’ve seen worse movies, but seeing as I had low expectations, & they weren’t even met…besides thinking about trying, the filmmakers didn’t really do a job worth praising.

Killers

Killers

By: Nicolette Karter

        So, if Katherine Heigl is in a movie, it generally will be a romantic comedy, where she’s the average unlucky-in-love lead actress & her hunky costar comes along & they end up together. This was sort of branching out for her, which I was proud of.

        Katherine Heigl (playing Jen) is single while vacationing in France. There she meets her hunky costar Ashton Kutcher, who is there for business. This business is of a rather secretive spy-like nature, so he pretends to be a consultant, which is something I have no idea what it is. But, besides his necessary secret keeping (he’d tell her, but then he’d have to kill her) & her not-so-smooth nerdy-ness beginning, they fell in love, or the “love bubble” as she calls it, & promptly got married to go live happily ever after in a house the size of a mall.

        Fast forward 3 years, they are still happy & in love & nothing bad happens aside from an occasional property line spat with a neighbor. Normally, a Katherine Heigl movie ends here, but like I said she branched out this time, so this is now where things will go awry. So remember that Ashton Kutcher’s character Spencer was keeping a secret? His old boss (played by Martin Mull) does, & makes contact with the former spy saying ominous riddles to get Spencer to go back to his old job. This is when Jen’s hilariously intimidating father Mr. “Call-Me-Sir” Kornfeldt (played by the awesome & handsomely mustached Tom Selleck) walks in to take his son-in-law to a birthday dinner. Perfect timing for Spencer because he was getting his gun out of a safe at that time, & it’s obvious these two men don’t get along. After going to Spencer & Jen’s house for a surprise birthday party instead of dinner, Jen is leaving for business the morning after.

        This is when people, specifically Spencer’s best friend Henry, are alerted that if they kill Spencer, they get 20 million dollars. Nice incentive, right? While Henry & Spencer are fighting, Jen walks in to spend more time with her loving, surprising, honest & not at all highly trained in the art of fighting/killing husband. She soon finds out there are some things she doesn’t know about him as more people try shooting & both husband & wife. A car chase & murder (in self-defense, to be fair) later, Spencer informs Jen he used to work for the blah-blah-blah & was given a license to blah, & he is a former assassin, who someone wants dead. This is when she informs him she might be pregnant, & Usher weirdly pops in for a cameo as a pregnancy test salesman.

The happy couple then goes to Spencer’s office to figure out a game plan & why someone wants to kill them. While Jen is taking the pregnancy test (is now really the time for that? I know it’s important, but come on), Spencer fights even more people who were in duo’s life for years. The body count ends up to be Spencer’s best friend, one of his workers, a woman who constantly hit on him (though now literally), a post man, his old boss, Jen’s friend, and their neighbors. So, pretty much anyone they know could be trying to kill them, which is reassuring. But the 20 million dollar question is who put the target on Spencer’s back? I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen it, but I like the small twist in this part.

As action-packed & murderously graphic it may sound, this movie isn’t bad about actually showing the murders, & is really funny. And if a married woman finds out her husband may have a secret or two, she can be glad she doesn’t have to dodge bullets because of it (unless it’s one hell of a secret like this, in which case good luck to you & your marriage counselor).

Corpse Bride

Oops.

Corpse Bride

By Valyrie Mia Stone

Mediocre popcorn, but Tim Burton made it, so it’s okay.

One day, while walking the woods, a man of inproportionate limbs (Victor, played by Johnny Depp) was practicing his wedding vows to a woman he just met (Victoria) because their parents set up the marriage for money, even though they’re all equally broke. At the end of said vows, he put the ring on a hand-shaped limb. Yea, that’s right. Mr. Gangly put an expensive ring on a branch in the middle of a forest. What could go wrong from here? So then Emily (Helena Bonaham Carter) pops out of the ground with said irreplaceable ring on her finger. Oh, and she’s dead. Oops.

If this weren’t made by Tim Burton, it would suck. But, luckily, Mr. Burton has a way of making weird stuff work. The majority of this movie is Victor struggling with the fact that he actually likes Victoria, even though they just met, and doesn’t exactly know how to dump skeleton lady. I mean, chick be dead, so she doesn’t have a lot going for her right now. How can be all like “Hey, crazy dead girl I accidentally married in a forest even though it wasn’t ordained and we don’t have a marriage license, I think we should take some space”? It’s not even like she could kill herself. You know, ‘cause she’s dead.

The best part about this is Danny Elfman’s musical numbers. One in particular ‘Die, Die, We All Pass Away’ is really catchy, and it’s sung by Elfman’s character, Bonejangles. It’s jazzy and fun, and explains what happened to Emily, so that’s good.

I don’t want to give away the ending, but it kinda sucks. It made me sad. And I didn’t care for Victoria. Seriously, it’s her against a literal corpse. How is she more frigid? (zang!)

                                                                  -Kisses, V.

Phantom Of The Opera

Phantom of the Opera

By: Nicolette Karter

Please note this is the 2004 version

        I love musicals, & this is a favorite of many people, for good reason. It was originally a book, by Gaston Leroux, and Andrew Lloyd Webber read it, thought “What if they sang everything?” & composed the music for it, adding some artistic differences in the plot along the way.

        As a lot of people know, this is not only a movie, but also a play, & on Broadway! It was a play before it was a movie, & is the longest running musical on Broadway. This version is a remake of the 1989 movie, which featured Sarah Brightman as Christine (who was married to Webber at the time). This time around, she is played by Emmy Rossum, who was 16 at the time this was filmed. She, like the rest of the cast, did her own singing in the movie, and I am really jealous of her pipes. I’m surprised humans can hear some of the notes she can sing, let alone someone being able to sing them.

        In the movie, she is a talented chorus girl with the opera house who gets her time to shine when the new owners of the esteemed theater (along with pranks from the Phantom) make the resident soprano leave, which is not altogether bad seeing as she’s a pretentious bitch. Christine is offered by her mother figure (Madame Giry, the ballet teacher) as a wonderful singer, & the show went on with her in the lead. This pleased the Phantom (who’s been training her in singing secretly since she was a girl) so much he decides she should be the lead in all the plays they put on. But, the bitch-whose name is Carlotta played by Minnie Driver-won’t hear of it (but more on that fiasco later).

        After her breakout performance, Christine is enchanted to follow the Phantom (who finally makes himself known to her, or anyone, come to think of it) to his not so humble abode under the theater. Side note, his place should seriously be on cribs: movie edition. I don’t know about the original movie, but his place in this one is awesome; I’m insanely jealous & you should look up this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77umP7IRxD4&feature=related because it shows off Gerard Butler (the Phantom) singing while showing his place to Christine; which brings me out of my side note. So, the Phantom & Christine get acquainted, but then she finds out he’s weirdly obsessed with her, & faints from both exhaustion & shock.

        When she comes to the next day, she finds that 1.) The Phantom does NOT like his mask to be taken off (what mask wearer does, really?) 2.) Carlotta wants her lead soprano role back, & will be a huge, stubborn diva about it 3.) Her childhood sweetheart/the theater’s pocketbook loves her 4.) The Phantom was busy making threatening plans for her to be in the limelight constantly while making everyone else mad. After going against the Phantom’s wishes, the new owners (& everyone but Christine & Madame Giry) learn not to do that again. One vocal paralysis & murder later, Christine & Raoul (the childhood sweetheart I mentioned played by Patrick Wilson) got engaged & the Phantom made ominous & vengeful plans involving song & dance.

        This is about the time the chandelier crashes, more people die, the opera house goes down (reputation-wise & literally flame-wise), & other dramatic events occur. The best part is the fact that they happen in choreographed song! Anatole read the book & said that it sucks & gave the Phantom no redeemable qualities & Christine was “just blah”. These are the nice critiques, so it’s a safe bet you’d enjoy the movie better than the “just…just terrible” book.

        What did you think of this movie? Have you read the book, seen a different version of this film, or even the play? Tell me what you think of this. (This is a Halloween review, for the raffle)

Halloween Reviews Raffle!

Hello everyone! I'm Anatole, and I just wanted to make sure everyone was fully aware of our Halloween Reviews Raffle! Here's how it works-

                         -Step 1: Read one of our Halloween Reviews. This includes the following posts:   
                                            Young Frankenstein
                                           Clue
                                           Zombieland
                                           The Phantom of the Opera
                                           Willy Wonka
                                           The Nightmare Before Christmas
                                  
                                           Also, This Post.

*Some have not come out yet        **Subject to Change

                               -Step 2: Comment! Otherwise we won't know of your existance!

                    -Step 3: Continue commenting until October 30th at 11:59 p.m. est. You can enter as many times as you'd like.

The winner will have their blog mentioned in our Halloween Post. If you do not have a blog, we will just say nice things about you. We'd love to do cooler prizes, but we're broke. Sorry. Hey, you can't put a price on compliments (yes you can).

You can also comment on my blog Artsy Fartsy (anatole-m.blogspot.com) to be entered.


                                               ~Love and wishes of priceless compliments to you all,    Anatole.

Sexiest Man Alive

Sexiest Man Alive Possibilities

By: Nicolette Karter

        So, I’m not sure who will be the crowned winner of hot-ness, but I compiled a list of possibilities, and I narrowed it down to the top three that I think it could be. I am not basing my opinions on my personal favorites, but on several factors, like: how they appeal to the public, how much media time they received, what and how many projects they were in, and some other, smaller factors. Pictures from Google.

        So, one of my top three guys is Channing Tatum. He was in several movies this year, and they all did really well, and with different genres. The Vow (Feb.) was a romantic drama, while Magic Mike (July) was a movie that’s just as good if you watch it on mute. While his face isn’t the most gorgeous thing to grace the Earth for all time (think Matt Bomer’s face), he’s still handsome, and has a charm about him that is endearing. Also, he demonstrated how funny he is in the hilarious action reboot 21 Jump Street (March). And in both Magic Mike & 21 Jump Street, he showed off how physical he’ll get in a movie, which is just fantastic for us girls watching.

        Our next contender is the awesome Aussie Chris Hemsworth. After breaking out in Thor, he reprised the role this year in the Avengers (May). He also starred in Snow White and the Huntsman (June), but I’ll forgive him for the thin script because he played his part well. While he hasn’t been in Hollywood as long as Channing Tatum, his deep voice, his eyes, his accent & smile all rolled into an adorable face makes him quite popular, even with men.

        And, although the crowned sexy man is usually a movie star, what’s sexier than a rock star? Kind of an underdog is our 3^rd bachelor, Adam Levine. He’s the front man for Maroon 5, a pretty popular band who recently released another album, Overexposed (July). He is also a coach on the singing competition show The Voice (in season), and if you watch 10 minutes of it, you’ll see how the crowd loves him, and how eccentric he is. He is also on the hit American Horror Story: Asylum. He’s a star in & out of his band, & the lyric “Baby there you go again/there you go again making me love you” from One More Night fits him perfectly.

        Now, I could be totally wrong about one of these guys wining the title of Sexiest Man Alive, but I think we can all agree they are sexy, even if the people deciding who wins somehow find someone better. What about you? Who do you think could win this? Do you disagree with my group of possibilities, and thought of someone I may have never even considered? Please tell me if you can think of a shoe-in for this, I would love to Google him. And, yes that sounded less creepy in my head.